Monday, December 14, 2009

I'm Back!

Hello girls!

I am home for Winter break, and, well, here is the scoop- since I have been living on campus, I have had the most monstrous diet of nasty, fattening cafeteria food. I actually have gained 7 lbs *yuck* over these last three months. I want to get back to what I was before I left for school, and then when I am at school focus on reaching my goal weight.

My personal data:

Height- 5'1"
Starting weight- 122 lbs
Current weight- 119 lbs
Short-term goal weight- 110-112 lbs
Long-term goal weight- 96-100 lbs

I have three weeks to lose 7-9 lbs.

Daily plan of action:

Food intake- between 500- 1000 calories
Drink intake- 8 oz of water
Exercise- for an hour; working on cardio & abs

I haven't had time to catch up on everyone's blogs, but I, hopefully, will be able to do that soon. Your blogs really help give me that extra little "umph" of motivation.

I hope you are all doing well~

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Day 4:

Sorry, I couldn't find time to post yesterday. All day I was running around doing errands with my my mom. Then, when we got home we watched a movie; annnnd, after that I was waaaaay too tired to even think about blogging.

So, here is yesterday's update: I can proudly state that I have earned 3 MAC MAKE-UP PRODUCTS!

Woot, woot.

I was feeling tired all day, but I really was grateful that I was so busy running so many errands that I didn't really have the time to stop and eat. I was a little tempted at the grocery store (with all the yummy foods), but I resisted getting anything.

Well, the four day fast is over. I hope I don't binge today because of it. Tomorrow, I am going to do another fast, but this time just a two day fast.

My school starts soon, and since I am going to be living in the dorms, I am going to leave my blog behind (I will use it during the holidays when I am home).

Alright, I am off to run more errands (getting all this crap for school, ugh, lol).


Friday, September 18, 2009

Day 3:

Yikes, I have been so busy today. I think I planned my day to be this occupied so that I wouldn't be able to stop and eat, lol.

I don't know why, but I feel in a funk. I think I psyched myself out when I lost two pounds because I weighed myself today and I am fucking 113. :-( I haven't even eaten a single fucking thing. :-( Urgh, sigh. I mean, I guess it could be water weight. I have purposely been trying NOT to drink too much water for that reason, but, I don't have any other plausible explanation to why I gained a pound.

Tomorrow is day four and I feel like giving up. I won't (don't worry). I have this deal with myself. I told myself that if I can fast for four days then I can allow myself to buy one MAC cosmetic item per fast. So far, I have earned two cosmetic items. Wednesday (Day 1) didn't count because I had three bites of food (which, I know it was only three freakin' bites), but my reasoning is that in order to get anywhere with my goals I need to be strict. So, hopefully I will do awesome tomorrow to turn that 2 into 3 awesome make-up items!!

Well, off to bed...


Thursday, September 17, 2009

Day 2:

I actually had a really awesome day fasting today. The only "negative" thing is that I felt a bit more sleepy than normal (earlier this afternoon when I was driving back home from visiting with my friend, I was at a red light... well, I guess it changed to green and I didn't realize it until a few seconds later when the person behind me honked, lol). I typically am super on top of stuff like that, so that was a bit weird. I guess I will just have to pay more attention than normal while driving when fasting, lol.

Oh, and I almost forgot to mention that this morning when I weighed myself I weighed 112!!!! I was/ am so stoked. Just being negative two lbs really inspired me to stay strong today (and, hopefully, will help me continue to stay strong for tomorrow, day 3).

Well, I suppose now that it's nighttime I can allow myself to go to bed since I have a been sleepy-head all day, lol.
Sand Man here I come...


Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Day 1:

So, today is day one out of the four day fast. So far, so good. How is everyone else doing?? I will keep you updated. Right now, I am off for a jog.

By the way, I love Emma Watson for Burberry; she fits so well with the style.

Alright, update for today. First off, I want to thank all of you!! I loved reading all of your comments!! It really motivated me even more!!

Now, as for my fasting (drum roll please...) I did great!! I only had one little moment of weakness when a friend offered me a slice of fruit. I just had three bites and threw the rest away. I definitely think I will do even better tomorrow. Especially after seeing all of your support!!

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

I Fast, You Fast?

Fasting, fasting... one, two, three...

Actually, make that four..

Does anybody want to fast with me???? I want to attempt a four day fast. I think it will be helpful having a fasting-buddy. So, let me know if you are interested. That way we can check in with one another to see if we are staying on track. Applicable for those who want to do just a one day fast or much, much more~!

Monday, September 7, 2009

Quiz Wiz

I snagged this from Brune (Brune, I love your blogs by the way). Fill one out for yourself if you have time. :-)

Age: 21

Height: 5’1”

Weight: 114 lbs

BMI: 21.54

Dress Size: size 4, but depending on the jeans I can squeeze into a size 2

Highest Weight: 122 lbs

Lowest Weight: 112 lbs

Goal Weight: 9 lbs

Favorite Diet Food: Fruits and vegetables *num, num*

Favorite Binge Food: Sadly, chocolate

Favorite Exercise: Bikrams yoga (such a good work out- too bad it is so expensive)

Favorite Thinspo: Hip-bones fo' so'

Where Do You Slip Up: Friends *sigh*

When Did It Start: Middle school, but my will power was weak back then

Does Anyone Know: Nope, and I plan to keep it that way

Do You Want Help: If you'd like to hire me a good plastic surgeon I would looove the help, lol *wink, wink* jk

How Many Calories Do You Consume A Day: Typically, 800 calories

What Do You See When You Look In The Mirror: Somebody I wish wasn't me :-(

Are You In A Relationship: No :-(

Are You The Fat Or Thin One Out Of Your Friends: Depends on which friends I am hanging out with

Are You Depressed: No

Ever Tried To Commit Suicide: No

Ever Been To A Psychologist: No

I am:
[ ] anorexic
[ ] ednos
[ ] bulimic
[ ] living off diet pills
[ ] hungry
[x] thirsty
[x] drinking something
[ ] Under 100lbs
[ ] starving yourself
[ ] participating in a fast

[ ] ask if I’m anorexic/bulimic
[x] call me fat
[x] say I’m skinny
[?] say I’m ugly
[x] say I’m pretty
[x] spread rumors about me
[x] force me to eat
[ ] say I eat too much
[ ] wish I’d eat more
[ ] don’t know I’m anorexic/bulimic/ednos

I wish:
[x] I was THIN
[x] I had a better body
[x] I didn’t have to eat
[x] I could control myself
[x] I was under 110 lbs
[x] I could avoid food
[x] I could hide what I am
[x] I wasn’t fat
[x] I was pretty
[ ] I could stop being ana/mia

I love:
[x] feeling hungry
[x] seeing a difference when fasting
[ ] shaking
[ ] being weak
[x] losing weight
[ ] being anorexic/bulimic
[ ] green tea
[ ] diet pills
[x] being able to turn down food
[x] feeling good about myself

[x] I am shorter than 5’4
[x] I think I’m ugly sometimes
[x] I have many scars
[ ] I tan easily
[x] I wish my hair was a different color
[x] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color
[x] I have a tattoo
[x] I am self-conscious about my appearance
[ ] I have/had braces
[ ] I wear glasses
[x] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free
[x] I’ve been told I’m attractive by a complete stranger
[x] I have more than 2 piercings
[ ] I have piercings in places besides my ears
[x] I have freckles

[x] I’ve sworn at my parents
[ ] I’ve run away from home
[ ] I’ve been kicked out of the house
[ ] My biological parents are together
[ ] I have a sibling less than one year old
[x] I want to have kids someday
[ ] I’ve had children
[ ] I’ve lost a child

[x] I’ve slipped out a “lol” in a spoken conversation
[ ] Disney movies still make me cry
[x] I’ve peed from laughing
[x] I’ve snorted while laughing
[x] I’ve laughed so hard I’ve cried
[ ] I’ve glued my hand to something
[ ] I’ve laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose
[ ] I’ve had my trousers rip in public

[x] I’m single
[ ] I’m in a relationship
[ ] I’m engaged
[ ] I’m married
[ ] I’ve gone on a blind date
[x] I’ve been the dumpee more than the dumper
[ ] I miss someone right now
[ ] I have a fear of abandonment
[x] I’ve cheated in a relationship
[ ] I’ve gotten divorced
[x] I’ve had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back
[x] I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t
[x] I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did
[x] I’ve kept something from a past relationship

[ ] I’ve had a crush on someone of the same sex
[x] I’ve had a crush on a teacher
[x] I am a cuddler
[x] I’ve been kissed in the rain
[x] I’ve hugged a stranger
[x] I have kissed a stranger

[x] I’ve done something I promised someone else I wouldn’t
[x] I’ve done something I promised myself I wouldn’t
[x] I’ve snuck out of my house
[x] I have lied to my parents about where I am
[x] I am keeping a secret from the world
[x] I’ve cheated while playing a game
[x] I’ve cheated on a test
[ ] I’ve been suspended from school

Bad Times:
[x] I’ve consumed alcohol
[ ] I regularly drink
[ ] I can’t swallow pills
[ ] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem
[ ] I have been diagnosed with clinical depression
[x] I shut others out when I’m upset
[ ] I take anti-depressants
[ ] I’m anorexic or bulimic or have EDNOS
[ ] I’ve slept an entire day when I didn’t need it
[x] I’ve hurt myself on purpose
[ ] I’m addicted to self harm
[x] I’ve woken up crying
[x] I’ve lost weight
[x] I’ve gained weight
[x] My weight holds me back
[x] Weight consumes me
[x] I’m at my thinnest
[ ] I’m at my biggest
[x] I’ve lost weight and kept it off
[x] I’ve lost weight but gained it back
[x] My weight affects my mood
[x] I weigh myself daily
[x] I am jealous of everyone smaller than me
[x] I thrive on compliments
[x] I feel bigger than people who are my size
[ ] I feel happy when I’m hungry
[x] I get depressed after I eat
[x] I’ve skipped a meal
[x] I’ve thrown food away
[x] I’ve spit food out
[x] I’ve fasted
[x] I’ve taken diet pills
[ ] I’ve used laxatives
[ ] I’ve purged
[x] I exercise
[x] I exercise so I can eat
[sometimes] I work out secretly
[x] I work out daily
[x] I exercise to counteract eating
[ ] I’ve fainted from exhaustion

I’ve done:
[ ] Weed
[x] Cigarettes
[x] Alcohol
[x] Diet pills
[ ] Pain killers
[ ] Anti-depressants
[ ] Ecstasy
[ ] LSD
[ ] Mushrooms
[ ] Speed
[ ] Cocaine
[ ] Other
[x] I keep my eating habits a secret
[x] I have a ED blog
[x] I look at thinspo
[x] I collect thinspo
[x] I condone pro-ana/mia sites
[x] I count calories
[ ] I’ve had negative intake days
[x] I avoid food
[x] I hate food
[x] I love food
[x] I want to be this way
[ ] I don’t want to be like this
[x] I wish I could have more control
[ ] Being thin is my top priority
[x] I don’t want to get better
[ ] I am in treatment
[x] I’m doing this for me
[x] I’m doing this for someone
[x] I’m doing this to prove myself

Wednesday, September 2, 2009


I am a little late posting this week, lol. I went on a mini-vacation with a few of my friends. The bad news is that I didn't lose weight this week (it always seems so much harder to steer clear of bad eating habits with friends), but the "good" news is that I didn't gain weight either. I mean, it isn't really good news, but it is better than if I had put on a few pounds, right?? So, I weigh in this week at 114 lbs... AGAIN.

My personal data:

Height- 5'1"
Starting weight- 122 lbs
Current weight- 114 lbs
Goal weight- 96-100 lbs

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Hip.. Hip... Hooray!

My personal data:

Height- 5'1"
Starting weight- 122 lbs
Current weight- 114 lbs
Goal weight- 96-100 lbs

Okay, so I am on this new diet where I eat, like, all the time. Every two-to-three hours I eat; but, only 100-150 calorie meals each time. I also have to make sure that I have enough protein in them as well. I try to aim for at least 9 grams of protein per meal. I feel so good. It is crazy because I never feel overly hungry or full. I just feel content. I plan on sticking to this diet until September, up until I have to leave for school (.. and have to eat crappy dorm food). There are 4 weeks before I leave.
So, hopefully I will be able to lose at least 2 lbs a week. If so, I calculated that I won't quite be at my long-term goal weight of 96-100 lbs, but at least I will be below my short term goal weight of 110. If all goes as planned, I will be off to a decent start, entering school at 106 lbs. I am so excited!!!!

Sunday, August 16, 2009


My personal data:

Height- 5'1"
Starting weight- 122 lbs
Current weight- 116 lbs
Goal weight- 96-100 lbs

Saturday, August 15, 2009


A huge majority of the time, hanging out with friends is a love/hate relationship for me. Why is it that when two people hang out, they feel the need to eat in order to feel like they are doing something?? Grrgh.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Down By Three

My personal data:

Height- 5'1"
Starting weight- 122 lbs
Current weight- 115 lbs
Goal weight- 96-100 lbs

Damn straight, I am -3 lbs this week. :-)

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Curiouser And Curiouser!

Love this Alice In Wonderland photo shoot. Natalia Vodianova is an excellent Alice.

Turn That Frown Upside Down



My personal data:

Height- 5'1"
Starting weight- 122 lbs
Current weight- 118 lbs
Goal weight- 96-100 lbs

Blah, this week has been super depressing... I don't even want to get into it. Side note, I hope to lose two pounds this week. I need to step up my work-out routine.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Updated Version Of The "Game"

*All updates are highlighted in blue
  1. Motivation* Commenting on another member's page [+1 point] (Points allowed once per week, Sunday only)
    *Posting blogs [+ 1 point] (Points allowed once per week, Sunday only)
    *Posting Thinspo [+1 point] per entry (Points allowed once per week, Sunday only)
    *One circumstance where weight is the case, must be listed per day [+1 point] (Points allowed daily)
    I.E. Modeling, dance, relationship(s), confidence, bikini season
    *Three body things you want to fix [+1 point] (Points allowed daily)
  2. Calories (Points allowed daily)

    You MUST be committed :
    *You MUST eat under 800-1200 calories per day
    Points will be distributed as accordingly:

    Fasting [+3 points]
    Intake of <500>1200 calories [0 points]
  3. Exercise (Points allowed daily)
    You MUST exercise at least 3 times per week
    Points will be distributed as accordingly:

    *Working out at the gym, using elliptical or treadmill, etc.
    10 minutes [+1 point]
    20 minutes [+2 points]
    30 minutes [+3 points]
    40 minutes [+4 points]
    50 minutes [+5 points]
    (So on, so forth...)
    Attending a work out class or watching a work out video [+1 point extra]
  4. H20 (Points allowed daily)
    You MUST be fully hydrated
    *[+1 point] per 8 oz glass of water
  5. Sleep (Points allowed daily)
    This step in critical!
    *4-8 hours of sleep [+5 points]
  6. Supplements (Points allowed daily)
    *Diet-pill intake [+2 points]
    *Binge eating of any kind [-5 points]
    *Purging [+2 points]
    *Multivitamin [+1 point]
Bonus Points [+3 points] (Bonus points only allowed once per week)

1) Which celeb/ or model do you think has the perfect body, and why?
2) Make a list of three things you hate about yourself/ or body AND make a list of three things you like about yourself/ or body.

3) What is your ideal weight and measurements?
4) Find an inspirational Pro-Ana quote and post it.
5) Take a hike, seriously, lol.
6) Read an ED book.
7) Make or buy your own Pro-Ana bracelet.
8) Write about three people/ or things that are binge-eating triggers for you.
9) Post a before/ after Thinspo blog.
10) Make short-term goals each week. If you reach your short-term goals each week add the number of pounds you lost to your points. If you didn’t lose any pounds one week, then add 0 points. If you gained weight, add the number of pounds you gained to your points. (This can be used with one of the other nine bonuses)



My personal data:

Height- 5'1"
Starting weight- 122 lbs
Current weight- 116 lbs
Goal weight- 96-100 lbs